Messin’ with Texas

Current Mood: Confused

Normally when I socialize, or interact with people, I am usually very aware of each thing I say, and what it says about me. I somewhat treat it like a game of Diplomacy, where it is important to shape other people’s perception of you in a favorable way. I always used to be aware of the impression I made on people, but was not so good at controlling it – after all, don’t we all worry how we appear to everyone else. Since starting to play Diplomacy, I have gotten much better at it. Writing often has made me aware of who I am, and how others perceive me, whereas Diplomacy has trained me to control others perception of me.

I don’t do this so much with my friends (although sometimes I do) since I usually don’t give a damn what they think. However, when meeting new people, interacting with professors in the past, or as of late, meeting with people for work, I am always on my toes. My Diplomacy instincts kicked in full force during the six meetings I had in the England this past week. It almost felt like I was actually playing. I did research on each person I was meeting and their company (know your opponent!). I also asked around a bit to see what I could gather. I was really looking for anything that could impress them, or give me the upper hand in our meetings. Anything useful. Since I am only 23, it is vital that I give a very good impression of company, by giving a very good impression of myself.

Most of meetings went very smoothly except for one. I won’t say which company or whom the meeting was with. Let’s just call him Mr X. Mr X had a morning meeting and we talked about lots of things (mostly compressors obviously). I had asked him for some documents that he said he would get for me a bit later. Then we got to talk about the Hanover fair. The conversation went something like this:

X: So how did Hanover go for [your comapny], was it very successful?
C (that’s me): Yes, it went very well. We made a lot of good contacts all over the world and we believe we will be able to enter many new markets.
X: Did you get to visit any other stands while you were there?
C: Not really. Murat went around and visited many other stands, and had several meetings with other Turkish companies that were there so he wasn’t at the stand that much. Often it was just Alper and I at the stand that could speak English so I didn’t have much chance to go around. I did visit the DH (the name has been changed) stand several times.
X: Oh, for their cappuccino right.
(I am very surprised that he knows this. I did keep going to DH’s stand just to drink their cappuccino. I think I went four times. I was a little nervous that he knew this. What else could he know I thought?)
C: Yeah, that’s right (I attempted a weak smile). How did you know that?
X: I read it on your blog.

At this point, terror set in. What else could he have read?! My mind began racing over all the things on my blog. Was there anything bad there? Had I portrayed myself in a bad light? How the hell did he find my blog anyway? Who is this guy? If he found my blog what else did he find?

I had that terrible sinking feeling in my stomach, the smile I had on my face disappeared, my heart started pumping loudly in my ears, the adrenaline was going. I am sure my face showed my fear. I somehow had completely lost any footing in this discussion and was now complete at the mercy of Mr X’s follow up comment. Would it be possible, I thought to myself that what he was about to say could be of incredible importance? Had he made up his mind and strung me along this whole time? There was nothing for me to say, so I waited, terrified, for what he would say next.

X: Why don’t I get those documents for you, I’ll be right back.

The worst! That is the worst possible thing he could say! Well I guess it wasn’t. It gave me time to think, and recompose myself. My mind raced over what else he could have found out about me for another 30 seconds or so, finally concluding that I had to assume the best and not worry about it. By the time he came back three or four minutes later, I was back to normal. He put the documents down and laughed.

X: You should have seen the look on your face when I told you I read your blog!

So X has a sense of humor. I liked him a lot, and I hope we will be able to work with his company because they seemed to be the best suited to act as a distributor for us. He explained to me that when he was searching for information on my company, my blog happened to come up, and he read my entries about the Hanover fair. We both had a laugh about the whole thing and X was kind enough to drive me quite far directly to the door of my next meeting. He instantly gained my respect for having found and read my blog before my arrival. He did his homework, and he did it well. A+ Mr X. Now I know that my blog is findable on the internet and I will not be so easily caught off guard next time.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!