An American Life in Istanbul

I meet a lot of people. For work, when I am out, through other friends, I am meeting people all the time. Regardless of who they are or where they are from, they start with more or less the same question: What are you doing in Turkey?

There is always a hint of surprise, or disbelief when they hear an American has decided to come to Turkey to start what they perceive as a real career. It is common for foreigners to come here and either take high paying jobs at huge companies, or take jobs as teacher that pay very little. The latter is mostly people who say “it’s only six months or a year,” and are here for the adventure and the experience. But those people all have a short term plan for Turkey. Even the people working for huge companies are only here on short term contracts for a few years. I fall somewhere in between I suppose. I don’t really know when I will leave Turkey, and I could get a higher paying job in many other countries. This question is therefore always the first.

The second, comes with the first as often as peanut butter comes with jelly (If you are not American, just trust me that these two are served together on bread quite often): “So how are the girls?” Turks, Americans, English, they all ask the same question. It is worded in a variety of ways: “Do you have a girl friend here yet?” “What do you think of Turkish girls?” “How’s the lady scene over there?” I was actually talking on the phone with a guy at work the other day and he said he had been meaning to ask me this for quite some time. Foreigners seem to be genuinely curious, Turkish guys seems to be fishing for compliments to their culture. Regardless, after I tell my story of how I have come to live in Turkey, question number two is always the same.

The problem arises in the fact that I never know how to answer this question. The fact of the matter is I don’t know. I hear all the time that foreigners are popular with Turkish girls, that if you have nice a car, you’ll be beating them off with a stick, that if you are tall you will have an advantage… the list of attributes that I have that are supposed to be beneficial goes on. Except for a few drunk flirts at bars trying to drag me off with them, I would say I haven’t interacted very much with the female half of the Turkish population. I don’t think I have forgone any opportunities, although some would argue otherwise, I just think I haven’t been in the right places making the right efforts.

I have my theories though. I can answer this question in a wide variety of ways based on what I have observed, overheard and been told, and I often attempt to do so. My lack of knowledge of this subject is more catered to the inquirer. Based on their tone, their wording, and the overall flow of their sentence, I can usually tell what answer they are looking for, and without disregarding the truth, I give them that answer. It’s usually short and does not leave room for the discussion to evolve from there.

When I thought about the frequency at which I receive this question, I asked myself what do I really think? What is the answer that encompasses all that is in my mind. Finding this answer made me wish I hadn’t attached my name to this blog. Some weeks ago I made a decision to remove all instance of my company’s name including its address. I did this so I could have more freedom to talk about what I want to talk about without effecting the image of the company. This wasn’t so much liberating as it made me feel safer about my existing words. If you look back to the following entry, you will be reminded of how one of my business contacts found my blog before I had even met with them: UK Trip Part II: Fear for the Fearless

Having my name attached to this blog means that I have to be wary of who my readers are, and how they know me. I have many theories, complaints, funny stories, observations, etcetera that I cannot put here because of the potential repercussions. I almost crossed this line with the entry Culturally (in)sensitive, which was discussed on my blog and amongst my friends. That said, my choice of content is somewhat censored and therefore not an objective account of ‘An American Life in Istanbul.’ I am sorry to those of you that thought it would be. The day I created this blog, and attached my name to it, I have signed away some of my freedom.

That’s enough of the ethical dilemma I am in. I think I can voice my real opinions without violating anyone’s confidence. I may offend them, but should the subject come up in discussion I will say the same thing. I therefore not be afraid of stepping on people’s toes, and further more, I welcome any intellectual debate that may follow. (I must add that I am a bit intimidated by Turks’ sense of nationalism and will continue to avoid commentary that could mobilize my Turkish readers’ patriotism. I do this out of respect to my host culture more than anything, but also because I don’t want my blog getting blocked)

Eight paragraphs of setting up for the answer to this question. Well sorry, but I think I am going to disappoint those of you that have read this far. You will have to look for a part two to this entry. Keep in mind, what you are going to read in it, is not coming from someone with any kind of idea of what they are talking about. I am hoping that the entry will provide a truly American view point, that I can provide the view point of an outsider (after all that is what I am, no matter how hard I try not to be). I am hoping it will come off as somewhat uneducated. This blog is about my life in Turkey. If I have arrived at the wrong conclusions or ideas about life here, I expect my Turkish readers to correct me, and to educate the rest of my readers.

Stay tuned…

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